10 Signs Your “Friend” Isn’t Really Your Friend At All
We all have friends, but not all friendships are built on genuine trust and care. Some friends stick by our side no matter what, while others only show up when it benefits them. These fake friends can be emotionally draining, making you feel undervalued and used.
If you’re unsure whether someone in your life is a true friend or just using you, here are ten clear signs of fake friendships and actionable tips on how to handle them.
1. They Only Reach Out When They Need Something
A true friend enjoys your company and checks in on you just because they care. However, a fake friend only contacts you when they need a favor, emotional support, or company when they have no better options.
How to Handle It: If you notice a pattern of one-sided effort, stop always being available. See if they reach out when they don’t need anything. If they don’t, it might be time to distance yourself.
2. The Conversation is Always About Them
Friendship is a two-way street. A real friend asks about your life, listens, and engages in meaningful conversations. A fake friend, however, dominates every discussion with their problems and achievements without ever showing interest in yours.
How to Handle It: Next time you talk, don’t bring up their issues first. Instead, share something about yourself and see if they respond with interest. If they constantly steer the conversation back to themselves, it’s a sign they don’t truly value you.
3. They Put You Down or Make Fun of You
True friends uplift and support you. Fake friends subtly or openly criticize, belittle, or make jokes at your expense. They may disguise their insults as “just teasing,” but the effect is the same—making you feel bad about yourself.
How to Handle It: Call them out on it. A true friend will apologize and adjust their behavior. A fake friend will get defensive or continue the pattern.
4. They Gossip About You or Others
If someone talks badly about their other friends to you, chances are they do the same behind your back. Fake friends thrive on gossip, drama, and betraying trust.
How to Handle It: Keep your personal matters private. If you suspect they’re gossiping about you, confront them directly or slowly disengage from the friendship.
5. They’re Unreliable and Constantly Cancel Plans
Everyone gets busy, but a true friend makes an effort to spend time with you. A fake friend repeatedly cancels at the last minute, makes excuses, or only includes you when their other plans fall through.
How to Handle It: Stop prioritizing them. Make plans with other people and let them prove their commitment to the friendship.
6. They Don’t Support Your Dreams or Goals
A true friend encourages your success, celebrates your achievements, and motivates you to keep going. A fake friend downplays your ambitions, acts disinterested, or even discourages you from pursuing your goals.
How to Handle It: Surround yourself with people who inspire and uplift you. Share your dreams with supportive friends and limit interactions with those who bring negativity.
7. They Only Want You Around When It’s Convenient
Fake friends will disappear when you need emotional support but expect you to be there when they’re struggling. They only engage with you when it’s easy or beneficial for them.
How to Handle It: Test the friendship by being unavailable for a while. See if they make an effort to check in or if they disappear altogether.
8. They’re Constantly Competing with You
Healthy friendships thrive on mutual celebration, not competition. If your friend is always trying to one-up you, downplaying your success, or copying everything you do, they may see you more as a rival than a friend.
How to Handle It: If competition replaces genuine happiness for each other’s success, take a step back and invest in friendships that bring positivity.
9. They Try to Change Who You Are
A real friend accepts you as you are. A fake friend will pressure you to act, dress, or think a certain way to fit their expectations or social circle.
How to Handle It: Be firm in your identity. If someone tries to mold you into someone else, they don’t truly value who you are.
10. You Feel Drained After Spending Time With Them
The most telling sign of a fake friend is how they make you feel. If you consistently feel drained, unappreciated, or anxious after hanging out, that’s a major red flag.
How to Handle It: Trust your instincts. If a friendship is more stressful than supportive, it’s okay to let it go.
What to Do If You Have a Fake Friend
If you recognize these signs in a friend, here are your next steps:
- Set Boundaries – Limit how much energy you invest in them.
- Communicate Your Feelings – If the friendship matters to you, express your concerns.
- Observe Their Response – A real friend will listen and try to improve. A fake friend will dismiss your feelings.
- Focus on Genuine Friendships – Spend time with people who respect and support you.
- Let Go If Needed – Not all friendships are meant to last. It’s okay to walk away.
Final Thoughts
Friendships should bring joy, support, and mutual respect. If you have a friend who only drains you, it may be time to rethink the relationship. True friends will stand by your side, celebrate your successes, and be there when you need them. You deserve nothing less.
Have you ever dealt with a fake friend? Share your experience in the comments!
